In my last 3 blog posts, you read about your ANS – Autonomic Nervous System. We know how important it is to keep ourselves in our parasympathetic (calm rest and digest) most of the time – every day — as opposed to our sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight). We also took a look at the first step in transforming our mindset by reframing thoughts and why this is so important for our health. When we think positive self talk, we make better choices to support our wellbeing.
The next important step to transform our mindset from critic to champion is to “Find New Evidence.”
Unhelpful thoughts, in part, come from accumulated evidence in our mind. We’ve learned important things about the world around us — and ourselves — based on prior experiences. But if you find yourself believing that your unhelpful thoughts are true, it’s time to find some new evidence.
World-renowned marriage expert John Gottman recommends that for every negative interaction we have with a partner, we should aim for five positive interactions. This ratio is important to practice because it helps hone your relationship with yourself. I remember learning about this ratio in graduate school at the Adler School of Professional Psychology. Negative thoughts have such a harmful effect on us that it takes at least 5 counter – positive thoughts to outweigh a negative one. WOW!
Here’s a practice that helps us Find New Evidence that works; set a timer on your phone for the same time every day. When it goes off, name five things, either in your mind, out loud, or on paper, that you appreciate When the negative critic starts roaming around your mind, take a step back, breathe slow, and counter it with your appreciative thoughts. This takes time but life gives us lots of opportunities to practice this!
If we don’t find new evidence and reframe our critic- our negative thoughts create unhealthy and destructive behaviors. Another way to put this is, “Life flies by — make sure you are the pilot.”
Don’t know where to start when forming your appreciative thoughts. Hit reply and let’s come up with some!
And, stay tuned for my next blog, which gets more specific with taming our self critic with my “Call to Action” method.
To our health and beauty,
xo,
Christine
nourish. move. meditate.
🥕💪🧘♀️